Did you know there is a BBC window open right now for unsolicited comedy scripts (TV, film, radio, stage or online)? Details here.
The script for my last ten minutes it would go like this:
ME: Deadline is Monday 4 April. Oh god.
POSITIVE ME: That’s four days away. Five, if you count the actual deadline, which because it’s 5pm you can.
NEGATIVE ME: But it’s the school holidays and you have two children – one an immobilised, bored one – who need entertaining.
POSITIVE ME: Eschew sleep. And never use the word ‘eschew’ again.
NEGATIVE ME: You know writing scenes in your head on dog walks don’t count.
POSITIVE ME: You’ve done this twice before! And got all the way through about three levels to a full read, notes and encouragement that you reached the top 2% of their submissions.
NEGATIVE ME: Before they rejected you. Twice.
ME: Must we do this existential thing EVERY TIME?
POSITIVE ME: Use it. Comedy is mostly angst. You know this.
ME: What would John Finnemore do?
NEGATIVE ME: We haven’t got time to cycle round Europe.
POSITIVE ME: Come on guys! Let’s pull together! The script is basically there.
ME: Well, that’s true. Right, bog off you two. I’ve got work to do.
POSITIVE ME AND NEGATIVE ME HUG AND CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT LIKE MATTER AND ANTI-MATTER. I WRITE FURIOUSLY IN THEIR POST EXISTENCE GLOW.
Do you have a comedy script you can bash into shape by 4th April? Got to be worth a go.