When I reached the hall, the reason for the noise became apparent. The Headmaster was leading an idiosyncratic World Book Day assembly.
“You’re all idiots!” he shouted, striding across the stage. “Small-minded fools!”
“Who’re you calling ‘small’?” yelled a Year 9 dressed as Alex Rider, and the whole room erupted again.
I quickly made my way to the stage, took off my jacket and held it in front of the Headmaster. He looked at me vaguely, as if he couldn’t quite place my face. “Emperor’s New Clothes …” he whispered, tapping the edge of his nose. “They’ll get it soon.”